When you _________ me,
Your actions spoke loud and clear. They told me I was worth nothing to you.
I have thought of what you did often. I have replayed the scenes in my head and I have allowed the knife to reopen wounds, over and over again.
This made me feel….unloved. My worth was shattered (because it wasn’t on the ROCK). I built walls to close off my heart. The devil used this to his advantage. He loved to accuse me and proclaim that people now wouldn’t want to be near me. I was no good to them. I was no good to God. I was a wasted case.
I began to question God and his love for me, his constant goodness, his abiding presence.
I can not change what happened. What happened is there. At the time I felt alone, scared, and helpless.
I have been healed.
I understand now that I wasn’t alone. He was with me in that time, fighting for me.
I understand now that although I was scared, his perfect love was calling me back to him.
I understand now that I wasn’t helpless, that I had him to call on, right there in that moment. And that he was already there, living inside of me.
God can not change what happened, but he showed me my Lord was right there the entire time, holding my hand and pleading to take my wounds away.
Jesus took my wounds upon himself. I am healed, and you didn’t even have to say sorry.
I used to have a war inside when it came to forgiving you, but now I have peace.
You are a person, just like me. You have a fallen body, just. like. me.
You are loved, worth more than rubies, highly sought after and treasured to the God in heaven, just like me.
I am sorry I thought evil of you and became bitter against you. I love you and I forgive you. And now if this scene comes back to mind, Jesus comes back too….And he is fighting for both of us.
Will you ever understand what you did? Maybe not. But that’s OK. I will love you the same, as though it never happened. It was sin, and sin is washed away. Jesus washed mine away too.
Thank you Lord, thank you for telling me I am worth more than rubies. That I am highly favored, priced above treasure, worth dying for. Thank you for loving me despite of my actions. Thank you for cleansing me and putting a crown upon my head. Thank you for chasing after me as I ran away from you. You caught me, and I am forever yours.