*What you are about to read are common hardships I face when it comes to getting honest with others (or myself). This happens when:
- I need help OR
- I know I will not like honesty’s end result.
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
I like showing up with a cheerful demeanor. It is so much easier than making an appearance with a broken heart mixed in with a cry for help. Smiles lead to conversations about sunshine and coffee and good deals, and that makes me feel good! For the moment.
Is that wrong?
Let me tell you. Superficial conversations allow me to forget the mountain standing in front of me, blocking me from moving forward. It gives me permission to feel temporarily content.
I like people to think I am strong, capable of life, and in need of little help.
(Oh you need help? Could you move out of the way please? You’re making me uncomfortable.)
I want fun conversations and promised friendships.
I love happiness. I love the laughter and joy that hurts so hard because I can’t stop smiling. The kind that keeps me up at night because I’m having such. a. good. time.
So when things ARE NOT OK, or if I’m seeing things a little different than the rest, honesty feels like a big struggle. A trap. A place to go if I want wounds to surface or feelings to get hurt.
Why? Because if I stay honest, I am afraid I will experience hurt and rejection …like I have, so many times already in the past. I’ve lost friendships. Friendships I really didn’t want to lose.
I’ve experienced the empty stares and the concerned silence. I’ve made people feel incredibly uncomfortable and it. gets. AWKWARD.
So pass the coffee, please, I’d rather get back to riding the surface.
BUT. Where am I going? Please someone tell me, where am I going?
You know what I’ve also realized?
Honesty’s path (mixed with humility) may have been rocky, but it led me to Jesus…and Jesus met me, right where I was. I stood in front of him with brokenness, doubt, sin, fear. He saw it all. And he didn’t run away. He wiped it away, in love.
Honesty led me to the right people, with the right words, leading me to the right savior.
The savior accepted me just as I was, he showed me the father, he called me, and he continues to teach me his voice, just like he promised. (John 10)
He healed wounds. (Isaiah 53)
He became my truth (John 14)
He showered me with unconditional and authentic love. (8 hundred million verses..seriously)
He led me to the place where I really am ok when someone ‘hurts’ me. BECAUSE
I found that true acceptance comes from Jesus, and our Father. (John 14:23)
Can we let them in, or will we keep allowing our pride to stand in their way?
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
What if true happiness happens after we hit our rock bottom, and honesty becomes our only choice? What if we realize the need for a living savior, not a historical one?
What if we decide that Jesus really is the answer and that he really will show us what it means to know true acceptance? (John 6:37)
What if we lose friendships, but we gain ones that we were meant to have in the first place?
Because God supplies our needs (Phil 4:19)
and he knows that we need people, too. (Prov 14:4)
What if the end result of honesty, is breakthrough?
29 Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.”
Will you be honest alongside me this week? It’s hard. It’s rocky. But in the end, you just might find that there are people out there who really do care, and they will help lead you to the one who handles all healing. The one who IS THE answer. We don’t have to be weary in doing good, for we WILL reap in due season, if we faint not.
by Francesca Battistelli
Listen to this, now.